Need a woman
Jack, so I am trying to get this lady to go out with me, but she won’t give me the time of day. I’ve done everything right, flowers, candy, poetry, serenades, but she’s doesn’t even acknowledge my presence. I’ve considered love potions and maybe even hiring a hypnotist. Why can’t she see we were meant to be? – Need a Woman
Dear Need a Woman
Listen, I am going to be blunt, because us guys have to be straight with each other. The problem is you. If you have indeed done everything you said you have to woo said lady, obviously something about you is a big turn off. The trick for you now is to find out what the thing(s) is/are and change them if you can.
Here’s the easy way to find out. Ask your lady friend why she pretends like you don’t exist. Don’t be timid, or she’ll feed you a line because women don’t like to tell men the truth when it hurts. You have to be insistent that she tell you what she really thinks. And no matter how excruciating the words that escape her sweet, supple lips are, pay attention and take notes, because following through at this point is your only chance. Who knows, she may be so impressed with your bravado, she may throw herself into your arms right on the spot. Or she could laugh mercilessly at you.
The hard way is to guess at what it is, or put one of your mutual friends up to asking her for you. If you are guessing, here are some tips. First, look in the mirror. Do you look closer to Brad Pitt or the Elephant Man? If you stand in one place for too long, are you overwhelmed with your own stench? Do you clothes look like those you might see on the cover of a GQ magazine, or do they resemble something worn by Captain James T. Kirk?
Be confident. And remember, if after all your efforts, she still rejects you, this means she’s selfish anyway. Go find a woman who can bring you the magic of real love.
Not Single, But Not Married
Lauren, I have been dating my boyfriend “Frank†for eight years now. We really like each other, but for some reason, he hasn’t popped the question yet. Am I doing something wrong? – Signed, Not Single, But Not Married
Dear Not Single, But Not Married,
Some men like to lease their cars, because they are afraid as soon as they buy one, a better, hotter model will come out. With a lease, they know at the end of the term, they can trade in, trade up or even buy out the car if they still like it. Sounds like Frank is a man who likes his woman on a lease, afraid to make the commitment that comes with buying.
So, the real question you need answered is if Frank is the sort of car you want to be driving on the highway of the rest of your life?
If Frank gets a 100 percent on your Non-Negotiable Check List, then it’s time to take matters into your own hands. Tell him you want a proposal in 30 days, or he’s just flushed 8 years down the tubes. Get tough. Don’t let his insecurities deny you the relational security you want and deserve. Tell him it’s you forever — or trade him in for another model.